January has always been known to be a little blue and miserable. After the festivities and endless indulgences of the previous month, it’s only normal to feel a little lost when the first month of the new year rolls around. December wasn’t exactly a jolly time for those close to me so I suppose the comedown from the festive period hasn’t been as noticeable as other years. Despite that, my January has still been rather gloomy – not the good Me & Orla’s hashtag #gloomandglow kind but more the sit-around-moping-feeling-sorry-for-myself kind. Assignments that were supposed to be done over Christmas took a backseat due to unforeseen events, resolutions and goals were nonexistent, and there was no sudden feeling of inspiration or that ‘I-can-achieve-anything’ state of mind that so many others seemed to have. It left me feeling very much like a failure.
One thing that has come out of this is the realisation that I can be a little unkind to myself. Three years ago, after a self-inflicted albeit traumatic event, I was all about self-care and being kind to my mind and body. I felt so at peace and full of self-love and compassion for myself. Now, I’ve slipped back into my old habits, questioning my self-worth and finding every opportunity to feel guilty about something, anything. Even while writing this blog post, a little voice in my head is slowly dragging me down, telling me I should be working on my assignments instead. Other times, it will be a constant inner nag that I’m not good enough: with my content, at uni, as a friend, creativity-wise and so on. Sometimes there’s no escape from this. Being overly self-critical, continuously comparing my journey to others’ and feeling guilty for everything has really not helped during the past few weeks. This kind of negative mindset can easily spiral out of control and I feel like it is finally time to try to put a stop to it. I have therefore decided to set myself a small goal for next month:
be kinder to myself
If it works, I will check in again in a month’s time to reflect on it, and I may turn this into a monthly series. I’ve needed something consistent for my blog and it seems like a nice way to both round off the month and create a meaning for the next one. Hopefully the rest of my monthly stories will not be as gloomy as January’s.
What would be a small goal to set yourself for the next month?
Sending you lots of love. I think this is such an important message everyone can take to heart, being kinder to yourself is so important. I tend to run myself into the ground trying to do everything, I hate feeling like I’m not contributing, and I end up run-down, sad, anxious and exhausted, which isn’t helpful to anyone.
You write so beautifully, I hope you manage to achieve this every single day.
Thank you, Helen! It really is important but I think it’s often so overlooked. And I can only imagine how difficult it must be when you have another little human to look after as well! You’re doing so well and Dougie is one lucky little one to have you as a mum <3 But it's that guilt as well, isn't it?! You feel like you should be doing more even when you are doing as much as you can. Thank you so much for your lovely words <3
Sophie Laetitia says
Aww I really hope this is the start of a more positive few months for you. Hope you are ok and if you ever want to meet up for joint blogging inspo then let me know hehe! xxx
Thank you so much, Sophie <3 That would be lovely! When I get through these assignments (eventually...) we should definitely meet up!
You have so many things to feel positive about Millie and your blog is one of my favourites. You’re doing great!
Hope you feel better soon. x
Thank you so much, Rachel! <3 I hope you are well! I feel so out of touch with everyone in the blogging world at the moment!